March 16, 2005
- Don’t be upset by “failure”.
Over the past few days, I’ve been hearing some of my clients speak of "failing" to meet their goals and of "failing" to put the dissertation first and of "failing" to make good progress this past week. While it’s an innate ABD trait to be super-tough on yourself (at least it SEEMS innate)- you don’t [...]
March 8, 2005
- Don’t resent others for their success.
In the competitive world of academia, it’s almost "normal" to resent others’ for their success. You feel envious or jealous of their achievements and find ways to tear them down. Instead of pulling others down- focus on building yourself up. Envy & resentment are indicators that you want something that you don’t currently have. Instead [...]
March 2, 2005
- Feeling bad is not normal.
During the dissertation process, you can sometimes get accustomed to feeling badly. You feel bad because you aren’t getting enough done, you feel bad because you’re neglecting someone or something to get a lot done, you feel bad because you haven’t been sleeping well, you feel bad because you are angry at something your advisor [...]
February 2, 2005
- Actively cultivate a positive attitude.
The more actively you cultivate a positive attitude, the happier you’ll be during the dissertation process. The happier you are about the process, the more likely you are to work on the dissertation. The more you work on the dissertation, the more likely you are to finish it. If you find that your thinking is [...]
January 28, 2005
- Sometimes, you just have to say when..
During the dissertation process, there are likely to be times where you are exhausted, stressed, and having trouble staying motivated. This is happening to a couple of my clients right now- the demands of their lives have picked up and they are running to keep up…and not feeling that they are doing that great a [...]
January 20, 2005
- Imposter Syndrome
Sorry for missing yesterday’s entry- we got hit with an unexpected snowstorm and the whole day got delayed due to traffic problems… and I didn’t remember to blog until after midnight. Oops!… Today’s entry: Imposter syndrome: that feeling you have that you’re somehow not the 100% genuine article- marked by fear of being "found out" [...]
January 17, 2005
- Dissertation Defensiveness
Now, you probably have some mixed feelings about the dissertation defense- but what about your feelings of dissertation defensiveness? You know, those feelings that rise up whenever anyone asks you "Are you done yet?" "When will you be done?" "What’s taking you so long?" "Why are you writing your dissertation anyway…?" Dissertation defensiveness arises, usually, [...]
January 11, 2005
- Don’t Jump to Conclusions.
This is a tough one! Too often, we think we "know" the reason something has occurred or the way a situation will unfold. We usually don’t. Keep your focus on the present, and allow the future to present itself to you in good time. Reacting appropriately is fine– overreacting is never helpful. [Excerpted from Get [...]
January 7, 2005
- The signs of depression & anxiety.
In a process like the dissertation, it’s somewhat common to experience episodes of depression and anxiety. Some readers have recently written to me, asking about the similarities and differences between depression and anxiety. I thought I’d take a few minutes to list the warning signs for each. Warning signs of depression: *Change in sleeping patterns [...]
January 4, 2005
- Are you afraid to finish?
For some ABD’s, finishing the dissertation feels unequivocally good. For others, there is ambivalence about finishing. This ambivalence relates to fear- maybe fear of the unknown (What will my life be like without the dissertation?), fear of not getting a job (Since academic jobs are sometimes scarce), fear of moving into a new identity (Ph.D. [...]
December 28, 2004
- You’re always doing the best you can.
Realize that you’re always doing the best you can. You are a motivated, bright, high achiever- otherwise you likely wouldn’t be pursuing a Ph.D. in the first place. You are always doing the best you can. Like I tell my clients, "If you knew a better way, wouldn’t you already be doing it?" [Excerpted from [...]
December 14, 2004
- What’s working?
Do you ever find yourself feeling low energy, unhappy, overwhelmed or depressed about your dissertation? If so, you’ve been spending too much time looking at what’s wrong- rather than looking at what’s right. A great way to shift the focus comes from a process of Appreciative Inquiry, as described by Kurt Wright in his book, [...]
December 2, 2004
- Forgiveness is necessary.
When someone hurts or upsets you, the best thing you can do is allow yourself to forgive. The main point of the dissertation process is to finish the project and move onto the rest of your life. Holding anger, grudges, or bitterness will interfere with this. Do your best to forgive and let go and [...]
December 1, 2004
- Breaking Through Self Doubt
You are smart enough. There are times during the process that youâll feel overwhelmed and uncertain. âAm I smart enough?â âCan I do this?â âDo I have what it takes?â These worries and doubts are quite common and will likely stay with you for a while. That doesnât mean that you should listen to them [...]
November 12, 2004
- Believe You Will
Dissertation success rests on two kinds of actions: inner ones and outer ones. The outer ones include behaviors such as working regularly, making outlines, etc. The inner ones include your beliefs, self talk, and self confidence. One of the most important pieces of inner work you can do relates to believing you can, and will, [...]
November 9, 2004
- Breakdown?
Ok, so- in a project like the dissertation, it’s likely that, sometime, you will start to feel like you don’t know what you’re doing or where you’re going. You’ve done all you can think of, and don’t know where to turn…and you feel like you might have a meltdown or breakdown pretty soon if the [...]